Do you have a fetish that you want to get rid of?
Fetishes – although they can be fun to indulge in, can quickly become distressing if you are ashamed or embarrassed of them – or they actively harm your sex life.
Thankfully, although many people believe that fetishes will always be a part of you, it turns out that this isn’t always the case.
So, let’s look over different types of fetishes, and how you may be able to eliminate your urges or thoughts towards them entirely.
Innate Vs Developed Fetishes
It’s important to understand that there are two different ‘types’ of fetishes that you can sort of categorize them into.
The first is fetishes that are innate to your sexuality. These will have always been there, or may have been suddenly awoken within you the first time they were exposed to you – through an online video, or through sex itself.
Unfortunately, according to modern research, these fetishes cannot be eliminated. Just like you can’t change your sexual orientation, these fetishes can be suppressed, but not really removed.
However, perhaps a more common type of fetish that we’re seeing today, is developed fetishes, or obsessions with specific sexual acts.
(Some people would say these aren’t classified as a ‘fetish’ at all, but most normal people would call them one.)
With the advancement of online video and other immersive pornographic media, there has been a huge surge in people’s sexual tastes become more and more extreme, fringe, or unique.
Think about it – half of the ‘weird stuff’ you see online wouldn’t be something you’d ever be exposed to in normal sex. But now that we have millions of videos at our fingertips, “normal” porn has become boring to many people. So, they seek out something new, until that too becomes boring, and their tastes get pushed further and further in more extreme directions.
Porn companies know this, and play on it heavily. And that’s how we ended up with entire studios dedicated to nothing but tentacle porn.
Anyway, these new fetishes you’ve developed over time – that I call ‘developed fetishes’, CAN be removed or reversed. And I know this, because I’ve worked with people on the phone in both directions – with people who want to acquire a fetish, and to remove one.
And when you look at it biologically, it just makes sense.
How New Fetishes Develop
Although I (and many others) often feel like a mindless zombie while watching porn, the truth is that there is a lot going on in the brain while you do so.
But, let’s keep things simple.
Sex and reproduction is a basic human need. It drives a lot of behavior. It turns out, the chemical in our brain that pushes us to take action – dopamine, is released when you acquire or anticipate requiring a reward – i.e, that hot chick on your screen with some nice cheeks on her caboose.
Your brain likes this. And as you get pleasure – and dopamine release from browsing porn, new neural pathways in your brain are built.
But, as you are given the same reward over and over again, the dopamine response isn’t as strong. This is as true for a hot juicy steak as it is for a hot piece of ass. If you are given the same thing over and over again, you aren’t as excited by it. So, you seek out something new.
This is exactly how fetishes escalate.
And as these new neural pathways in your brain start to build up (by associating the fetish with pleasure and dopamine release), your brain jumps straight to craving these new and novel things straight away. Eventually, it gets to the point where ‘normal sex’ just isn’t as interesting or exciting to you any more.
‘Use It Or Lose It’
Put simply, the easiest way for these fetishes to begin dissipating is to avoid partaking in them.
Many people who have stopped watching porn entirely have reported that these fetishes disappeared completely, and did not return, even if their porn consumption resumed.
While quitting porn entirely isn’t exactly necessary (despite probably being the most effective way to go about it), you do want to avoid partaking in the fetish at all.
Even thinking about it or allowing yourself to crave it can prolong its existence.
So, you’ll almost need to reach a meditative like state – where even if the thought of the fetish comes into your mind, you simply push it out and refuse to think about it further.
Over time, the neural pathways related to this fetish will begin to break down, and your cravings for the fetish will begin to diminish.
This entire process can take as little as 30 days, to several months or longer depending on the strength and intensity of the fetish, as well as long as you’ve had it.
Obviously, the more intense the fetish – and the longer you’ve had it, the longer it will take to get rid of it.
During this time, you should be careful to avoid any ‘triggers’, or behavior / media linked to the fetish.
For example, if you were trying to get rid of a lacation fetish, it would be best to avoid any fetish porn that focuses heavily on a woman’s breasts.
Fetishes Aren’t Something To Be Ashamed Of
Bear in mind that fetishes aren’t something that you need to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
Everyone has them, and even ‘extreme’ fetishes are normal to have. It doesn’t make you a freak, a porn addict, or a bad person.
I believe that unless a fetish…
- Directly harms you or other people, either mentally or physically
- Involves someone without their consent (not just in thoughts or fantasies, but in actual actions – for example, spying on people, or pressuring partners into uncomfortable situations.)
- Takes over your mind until you can’t enjoy sex or masturbation without it
…Then it’s completely fine!
Even if your fetishes are dark or would make others uncomfortable, you should not feel bad about them at all unless they remain just fantasies.
As a phone sex operator, I have helped a lot of people work through fetishes they were very embarrassed or ashamed of. Most people I talk to are good people.
Your fetishes do not define you.
Unfortunately, you may not be able to remove a fetish that’s an innate part of your sexuality, and has been with you your entire life.
However, you can typically ‘lose’ fetishes that were developed recently or through the use of pornography. By avoiding partaking in this fetish – and thinking about it as little as possible, the neural pathways in your brain will break down. Over time, you’ll find yourself craving the fetish less and less, until eventually you hardly think about it at all.
If you have any questions, let me know via the comments below. And of course, if you want to try out some other porn instead, sign up for my Patreon – I post 8 or more exclusive audios every month for you to listen to instead!
Lewd Lexi is a professional adult voice actress, phone sex operator, and sexuality educator. Here on LewdLexi.com, she shares not only her newest releases and projects, but works to provide resources to give everyone a better sex life!