How To Convince Your Wife To Have A Threesome

For many men, the idea of having a threesome is the sexual holy grail.

Sex with one woman is incredible on its own. Throw another into the mix, and you may just get to live out fantasies that you’ve only dreamed of.

Of course, one of the core aspects of most marriages is remaining faithful to each other – sexually and otherwise. So, it’s no surprise that most men that fantasize about threesomes never actually end up experiencing one.

Thankfully, if you approach it the right way, you may find that your wife is open to the idea. So, in this article, I’ll be going over how to convince your wife to agree to participate in a threesome – and what you can do to make sure it’s enjoyable and beneficial for the both of you.

1. Ask Yourself Why You Want To Have One

First things first, it’s important to take some time to ask yourself why you want to have a threesome in the first place.

Many people try threesomes thinking that it will somehow save their marriage, when this is rarely the case. In fact, it often makes underlying issues worse.

So, are your motivations purely selfish? Are you just wanting to live out a fantasy of having two girls at the same time? Why is this important to you?

Is it because you’re sick of fucking the same woman over and over again, and you simply crave novelty? Could this be satisfied in other ways?

Are you feeling undesirable, and just want to know that another woman other than your wife finds you attractive?

Or, do you think a threesome could spice up your sex life and end up being beneficial to the both of you?

None of these questions should be thought of as a personal attack, regardless of the reason why you want to have a threesome. They are simply important to ask because there may be a better alternative available, even if your wife ends up saying no. Plus, knowing why you want to have one will make it easier to bring up with your wife when it comes time to discuss it.

2. When You Bring It Up, Tackle Issues As A Team

When you first bring up the idea of a threesome – especially if it involves another woman, this may be immediately perceived as a threat to most women.

They may immediately begin asking themselves questions like,

• Am I not attractive to him anymore?
• Am I bad in bed?
• Is there another woman he wants to be with more than me? Oftentimes, we jump to specifics – the girl you’ve been flirting with, their best friend, etc.
• What if he ends up liking sex with her more?
• Could new partners bring in STDs?

…and so on.

It is natural for women to panic, feel threatened, defensive, and dismissive because of it.

What’s important is that you never make it a ‘me vs you’ scenario. You don’t want her to feel like you two are arguing, which will only reinforce her beliefs and cause her to become more defensive.

Instead, use this as an opportunity to find out what all of her objections are to the idea, and work through them together as a team. If your wife believes she may experience jealousy for example, reinforce the idea that you find her attractive, it’s not just about having sex with a different woman, and she will always be your number one no matter what.

Threesomes can reveal a lot of underlying issues in a relationship. It’s best in the long-run if you have some hard discussions beforehand, and work through them before you actually end up bringing someone else into the bedroom.

3. Make Sure She’s Included In Every Part Of The Process

The more you let your wife lead the threesome, the more likely you are to get her to agree to it. And this should include every part of the process.

A lot of the work involved in setting up a threesome isn’t just the actual event itself. In fact, the buildup to it is often the longest and the hardest part.

For example, who will you be doing the threesome with? Will it be a friend, or a complete stranger? And if it’s a stranger, where are you going to find them?

Friends seem like an obvious and easy choice, but are more likely to come with additional baggage the two of you might not be prepared for. Not only will you have to remember the threesome the next time you all are together in a non-sexual setting, but it also increases the likelihood that issues like jealousy, resentment or attachment come up.

Strangers carry an increased risk that they’re going to be whackos, carry STDs or be downright dangerous.

Paid escorts will certainly carry the least emotional attachment, but can be expensive and less personable, depending on the person.

Regardless, you should discuss this thoroughly with your wife, and let her lead the decisions if the two of you disagree.

Have plans in place for what the actual day will look like itself, and how you plan to handle things once the sex is over. Pro tip – plan something romantic for just the two of you to enjoy afterwards, and for the love of god, don’t spend the entire time fucking the other woman – remember, it’s always paramount that your relationship takes priority!

4. Keep The Discussion Ongoing

When it comes to making a big decision like this, it’s important that you don’t force her into making a decision right now.

Not all of the details need to be worked out in one talk, nor does the discussion need to be super confrontational. In fact, you’re more likely to have success by casually bringing it up and keeping it casual, than trying to get a yes or no answer right from the beginning.

This is because again, the idea of a threesome can feel threatening – and the added pressure of needing to make a decision right now can be too much.

Humans are hardwired in such a way that they are twice as likely to move away from displeasure – or the possibility of being threatened, as they are to move towards pleasure. Even if there are some elements of a threesome that excite her, if she’s pressured into making a quick decision, she’s more likely to say no to avoid the potential downsides. That’s just how our psychology works.

So, keep communication open, and give her time to think about the idea. Let her organize her thoughts and her fears.

This will allow you to work through them together more productively, and in a calmer and more organized fashion later on.

5. Come Up With A List Of Rules Together

If you decide to have a threesome together – or you think that she might be on the fence, it may be helpful to come up with a list of rules together.

This can help ensure that you won’t be going against her wishes, and she won’t have as many things to fear about.

For example, the two of you may insist that the third person undergoes STD testing beforehand.

Or, you may decide that certain acts are forbidden. Your wife may be fine with you penetrating her, but not more intimate or romantic acts like kissing or cuddling. These forbidden acts typically come down to the individual couple, but it’s important to establish what is allowed vs what isn’t.

You may also discuss what compromises YOU are willing to make as well. For example, if you get to have a threesome with another girl, it’s only fair that she gets to have a threesome with another guy as well. Is this something you’re willing to do? If not, is it really fair to expect this from her?

These are important things to think about!

6. Remember – You Can’t Force It!

Finally, and this is the most important one – you can’t force it.

If your wife doesn’t want to have a threesome, you shouldn’t pressure or coerce her into having one. The reality is that a lot of women aren’t going to be into it, and like any sexual act, you can’t force someone into it against their will.

If she says no, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she will be against the idea forever. However, you should avoid bringing it up, and use the rejection as an opportunity to prove that you respect her wishes and her boundaries.

Try your best to not seem disappointed or to make her feel bad.

If you’re in a monogamous relationship, threesomes are a bonus – not something that you’re entitled to or should expect. And while having a fantasy shot down can hurt, it should not come at the expense of your relationship as a whole.

Closing Thoughts

Approaching your wife for a threesome is a minefield. It can work, and threesomes can be a great way to have a lot of fun. At the same time, if they’re not handled the right way, they can cause problems to appear when there weren’t any before.

If she says no, don’t hold it against her. By the same token, if she agrees to do it, enjoy the time, but avoid pushing for it constantly.

Make sure she feels secure in the relationship, knowing that she will always be your number one focus, and you’re more likely to be blessed with more threesomes in the future.

Have you ever had a threesome in the past? Do you still have worries you want me to address before you ask your wife? Let me know in the comments form below, as I’d love to hear from you!

~ Lexi