Why Women Like Older Men (And How You Can Emulate These Qualities Now!)

Have you ever noticed that a lot of girls end up dating men that are much older than them?

Are you constantly looking around and seeing hot young girls with older men, and wonder what they’re doing differently? It’s not just looks, so what do they have you don’t?

The answer is a lot more complicated than you might expect – and often comes down to their natural personality traits and the way they approach life, more than their looks or their money. Thankfully, this means that even if you’re younger right now, you can use these same tactics to make yourself more attractive to women of all ages.

So, in this article, I’ll be breaking them down into separate categories – explaining what draws women to older men, and how you can use this information to make changes in your own life right now.

1. Older Men Have A Clear Direction In Life

This shouldn’t come as a surprise, but most women are attracted to people that got their life together, so to speak.

This doesn’t mean that they need to have everything already taken care of – we all know that nobody is perfect, and good things come with time.

As someone ages into their 30’s, 40’s and beyond however, they’ve probably gotten a good grasp on their identity, and what they want out of life. They know the career path they want to go down. They know whether or not they want to have kids. They know what their values are, they have deep rooted hobbies, they aren’t still experimenting or trying to figure things out.

To be fair, when you’re young, this is the time to experiment and try new things. This is natural, and beneficial. It’s important to figure out who you are. But that takes time.

2. They Provide Stability

This leads me into my second point, which is that older men provide stability and security that younger men don’t often have – again, because they still have a lot of changes going on in their lives.

Older men have already finished schooling, they’ve chosen a career path that they’re going to stick with, and they’re probably not going to be relocating anytime soon. They’ve gotten their youthful party phase out of the way, and while they certainly still like to have fun, they aren’t as sporadic or crazy about it.

They aren’t worried about making rent or where they’re going to live. Most of them have a place of their own and dating them feels ‘safe’ – it’s not as big of a risk as say, someone bouncing between jobs that can barely make rent.

Really, stability lowers the perceived risk of being with you. It helps her feel comfortable, safe and secure, especially when it comes to making a commitment.

3. They Make More Mature Decisions

Sticking with the ‘risk’ category for just a minute, older men take to make wiser, and more mature decisions.

They aren’t going to suddenly change the direction of their life, spend a ton of money, or do something with heavy consequences on a whim. They likely already have the wisdom and experience that living life provides, and think things out more carefully before making any changes.

But this also comes down to normal, day-to-day activities too. Instead of spending all their time playing video games, they make sure that household chores are taken care of. They buy insurance. They drive reasonable speeds when out on the road. They don’t put themselves or others in harm’s way by trying to “show off.”

According to a study done by Nikelodeon UK, men reach full emotional maturity only at age 43 on average, which is 11 years later than women.

So, if you think you’re done maturing by 25, think again!

4. They’re Typically Better At Sex

This one comes down to experience.

Sex is a skill, and it’s one that you get better at with practice. That’s not to say you need to take a ton of different women to bed, but like any skill, the more you do it – and in a larger number of different situations, the better you get at it.

This is completely anecdotal, but I’ve found from talking to different women that older men are also typically less selfish in bed – they go to greater lengths to ensure that the woman is having a good time, too. Sorry younger guys, but a lot of you all are selfish when it comes to sex – you get things going way too quick, and as soon as you cum, you’re done.

Sex of course, is only one part of a relationship. But of course, the better you are at it, the more she’s going to want to do it, and the more she’s going to want to stay with you.

A lot of older men actually do better when it comes to ‘hookup culture’ than younger guys do, because even if the girls are dating someone else, they’ll keep older guys on the side for booty calls.

Also just a quick note – good sex doesn’t mean ramming her like some kind of crazy pornstar. It comes down to communication, being in tune with each other, and genuinely caring about the other person’s experience.

If you want me to share more tips on sex in general, let me know – and sign up to my newsletter at LewdLexi.com/email/ so you can stay up-to-date with my content.

5. They’re Different From Past Partners

It takes time to find the love of your life. And unfortunately, that means that most people go through quite a few hard breakups before they find ‘the one.’

Younger guys are more impulsive, and are more prone to switching up relationships – even ending good relationships, in pursuit of novelty and excitement. Unfortunately, even if you are with your soulmate, that ‘honeymoon period’ at the beginning of all relationships always ends.

Thankfully, it’s replaced with a bond that is even better – but it’s not the same, dopamine-rush, over the moon feeling you get in the beginning.

Some women try dating older men because they believe it will prevent the pain they felt from past relationships ending – or solve problems those relationships had. Again, this comes down to some of the things mentioned already – if someone got dumped because their boyfriend changed careers and got too busy for her, they’re going to be drawn to someone that’s settled in their career, and isn’t overwhelmed with other responsibilities.

This is highly individualistic. But humans are twice as likely to make decisions to avoid pain than to gain pleasure, so if they’ve been hurt in the past by younger guys, they may think an older man is the answer.

6. Older Men Typically Have A Financial Edge

We can pretend all we want, but let’s be real here – most women are more drawn to people with money, whether they like to admit it or not.

This doesn’t mean they can’t love someone who has nothing, obviously. But if two people were exactly the same, and one had money and one didn’t, most women would choose the guy with the money.

People tend to get wealthier as they get older. They move up in their careers, they own their own stuff, and if they were financially responsible, they have savings to fall back on.

Money is security, sure. But it’s also comfort, it’s less stress, it’s excitement and opportunity, it’s freedom. And who doesn’t want that?

Interestingly enough, women aren’t as attracted to younger men that appear to have money. If an older man drives a nice car, we assume that he’s made good choices that have led him to a lavish lifestyle. If a younger man is driving a sports car, women assume that he’s being fiscally irresponsible, and that the money won’t last.

So, don’t think that flaunting the money you have is a good idea. Show that you have promise for a financially secure future – have a good career lined up, start a business, show promise that you won’t be broke.

That’s far more important than designer clothes, or god forbid, a massive car loan.

7. Some Women Find Them More Attractive

This is the other one that you can’t really do anything about.

They say that women get less attractive as they age, but men get more attractive as they age – up until around age 50, according to one study.

Biologically speaking, this may be because women’s fertility continues declining as she ages. And since a big part of why we seek out mates is so we can reproduce, fertility is pretty important.

Men on the other hand don’t experience the same fertility drop-off that women do – once they start producing sperm, they can have babies their entire life.

Just like you might prefer blondes or brunettes, some women prefer the look of older, more mature men. But of course, this doesn’t mean that they’ll exclusively date older men.

There is a lot one can do to improve their attractiveness to women, even if you haven’t been blessed with a beautiful smile, you’re not tall, and all these other factors that people use as excuses – but don’t make as big of a difference as they seem. Yes, there are things you can’t control, but there is also a lot you can control.

8. They Exhibit More Attractive Personality Traits

Some of those controllable factors are your personality traits. And this often has a lot more to do with making someone attracted to you than looks alone do.

Older men have more confidence. They don’t fear rejection as much – probably because they’ve lived through it a lot more, and they’re a lot more sure of themselves.

When you are desperate for someone’s affection, it shows. And unfortunately, in any relationship – be it sexual, romantic or even in business, the person that is willing to walk away is the one with all the power.

Speaking of power, older men also have more influence – perhaps due to their career, and assertiveness. They don’t let people take advantage or wrong them – or the woman as much. They’re not afraid to speak up about it. They’ve gone through enough shit in their life that they aren’t going to tolerate injustice, just to avoid confrontation.

Now again, these are all generalizations, but it’s true.

Thankfully, confidence, charisma, assertiveness, humor – these are all traits you can actually work on and improve at any age.

Closing Thoughts

As you can see, there’s not really anything special about being older in particular. While it’s true that many men become more attractive as they age, the majority of what draws women to older men has nothing to do with looks.

If you’re willing to work hard to make these changes in your life, and become a man with great potential, then women will start to take notice. In fact, improving yourself for your own sake, rather than just to get laid, counterintuitively tends to result in much more attention from women than fancy clothes, memorizing pickup lines, or even being super attractive.

If you want more tips on actually getting a quality girlfriend, let me know! This is the first time I’ve done an article like this, so I’m curious if it’s something you found interesting or helpful.

See you again soon,

~ Lexi