The anus – and more importantly the prostate, located inside of the rectum, are two of the most pleasurable places on or in a man’s body. Yet, many people wouldn’t dare entertain the idea of self-pleasure – or pleasure from someone else, anywhere near their butt. The fear is that only gay men engage in butt stuff, and doing anything sexual there – even if it ends up pleasurable, is either a ‘gay act’, or can make you turn gay over time.

There are some logical points behind this – sexual preferences and even your sexual orientation can morph or evolve over time. But does anal play have anything to do with sexual orientation?

In this article, I’ll cover everything you need to know!

What Do We Mean By Anal Play?

So just to get it out of the way, let’s look into some examples of what I mean by anal play. If you haven’t thought about it before, there are a whole lot of sexual acts that one can enjoy that involve the butt.

For example:

• Ass licking (fun fact – the first time I ever made a guy moan was by licking his ass.)
• Anal fingering, which I’m told feels amazing while cumming or getting a blowjob. It certainly feels great when I cum!
• Anal sex, both giving and receiving in the form of pegging.
• Usage of anal toys, such as butt plugs, vibrators, and so on.
• Even erotic massage, having your glutes massaged can be quite pleasurable and quite erotic.

There are plenty of erogenous zones involving the butt, both inside and outside, and integrating some of these acts into your sex life can really spice things up, introducing you to pleasure you’ve never known possible.

The prostate in particular is known to be insanely pleasurable to stimulate, giving it the nickname of the ‘Male G-Spot’ for a reason.

Prostate orgasms are said to be insanely pleasurable beyond anything you can get through traditional masturbation or sex. They are more intense, can last longer, and involve your whole body, rather than being localized to just your penis.

From people that have experienced them, they would consider prostate orgasms a 10/10, where as a regular orgasm would be considered a 2/10 in comparison. Prostate orgasms do not have the refractory period that traditional orgasms do, meaning you can have them over and over again for hours without losing your arousal levels.

I feel very sorry for anybody that finds the idea of prostate orgasms appealing, but forbade themselves from trying due to fear or stigma.

So, Can Anal Play Make You Gay?

I’m happy to share that anal play in itself has absolutely no effect on whether you are straight or gay. It will not magically make you attracted to men, or cause you to want men to do anything to you or your body.

People of all genders and sexual orientations enjoy anal play, because again, these areas of the body are pleasurable. There are so many nerve endings on the ass and anus, even before you get to the prostate.

Cis men enjoy anal play. Cis women enjoy anal play. Trans men enjoy anal play, as do trans women. Straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, everyone of all genders and sexual orientations enjoy the pleasures that our bodies have to offer.

What’s important is that you take anal play at face value, and view it objectively. You are simply stimulating nerve endings. Most straight people, even if they were getting pegged or using a penis-shaped dildo on themselves, would not be thinking of a man fucking them in the ass while it’s happening. They are simply doing what feels good.

The stigma surrounding anal play does more harm than good. If you start questioning your sexual identity, you will start seeking out evidence that will support your theory. If you believe that you might be bisexual, you’ll start looking for reasons this might be true. When I’ve worked with coaching clients, I’ve had people admit that they’ve been turned on by feminine-looking asses that they later found out were men, or enjoy watching cumshots in porn videos. This can lead to serious emotional insecurity, especially if you live in an area where homosexuality isn’t as accepted.

Of course, we now KNOW that anal play has nothing to do with being gay. However, I can empathize with the fears and anxiety that develops with enjoying it – which again, has nothing to do with the act itself, and everything to do with society’s misguided views.

(And hey, with articles like this one, I’m trying to correct that!)

What CAN Lead To Shifts In Sexual Identity

Believe it or not, there ARE things that can lead to shifts in sexual identity over time. And while anal play isn’t one of them, it can cause identity issues when combined with other actions or behaviors.

Take this example, that I see a lot with people that have porn addictions.

Porn itself is heavily fueled by dopamine – the chemical in your brain that’s tied to anticipating rewards. When you watch porn, your dopamine receptors think you’ve hit the jackpot, and hundreds of women want to mate with you. Score, right?

The only problem is, when people are repeatedly exposed to the same thing, dopamine does not act as intensely as it did the first time. This is why we eventually get bored with the things that used to excite us. It’s not new or novel anymore.

Porn can be problematic because it offers constant novelty – there are always new videos to watch, new concepts to explore. Yet over time, even vanilla porn can become boring.

Some people eventually find themselves drawn to trans, ‘femboy’ or even straight out gay porn. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course.

However, if you know how fetishes develop, it’s largely a product of reinforcement. You watch something catered to a fetish, which excites you sexually. Dopamine is released – your brain is receiving a pleasurable reward. You orgasm, which rewires your brain to crave the trigger for the reward – i.e the fetish, even more. Over time, it becomes more and more of what makes up your sexual preference.

If you watch gay porn for example and cum to it over and over again, you’re going to be aroused and seek it out even if you have no attraction to actual men in real life.

This does not mean that you’re gay. While sexual orientation isn’t necessarily fixed and sexual preferences can evolve or change over time, most cases of porn-induced fetishes disappear or lose strength as you stop engaging or thinking about them. When it comes to the brain, this is one area where ‘use it or lose it’ holds true.

Closing Thoughts

I don’t blame people for wondering whether or not anal play is gay. Sex education in many areas of the world is laughable at best, and although I believe it’s wrong to discriminate against anyone due to sexual orientation, a lot of the world doesn’t feel the same way. It’s wrong, but seeing yourself as gay can have huge emotional effects, and many people have shied away from anal play because of it.

Thankfully, playing with your butt is no more gay than stroking your own penis. A whole new world of pleasure is available to you once you get your ass involved, and I’d hate for you to miss out.

If you want to stay up-to-date with the articles I publish – including male sex toy reviews, some of which will be anal toys, be sure to sign up to my email newsletter. I run occasional giveaways and share exclusive discounts I secure for my subscribers as well, so you may just end up with free toys if you’re on there long enough.

Anyway, wishing you the best, and well, have fun with your butt!

~ Lexi

Lewd Lexi

Lewd Lexi is a professional adult voice actress, phone sex operator, and sexuality educator. Here on LewdLexi.com, she shares not only her newest releases and projects, but works to provide resources to give everyone a better sex life!

Consider signing up to her email newsletter to stay up-to-date with newest releases, along with a bunch of other goodies you can learn about by clicking here!

lewdlexi.com

However, despite how wonderful anal sex can be, it comes with its own unique set of risks, that aren’t really present in vaginal or oral sex.

So, to ensure that you’re practicing anal sex safely – and can continue having as much of it as you want, I want to discuss some of the risks involved, and how you and your partner can minimize those risks.

Again, I am not against anal sex in any way – I just think it’s important we take a look at the reality of it, to ensure we’re staying safe and having fun!

1. Bacterial Infections

The first risk, and sort of one of the more obvious ones if you really think about it, is the increased risk of bacterial infections.

Look, there’s no sugar coating it. We’re all adults here. We know what butts are actually made for, and we know that the inside of them isn’t exactly the most hygienic place of our body.

Vaginas are naturally self-cleaning, the same way say, your eyes and nose are. Natural lubrication, secretions, gravity – not to mention the pH of the vagina, all help keep it free of harmful bacteria.

The anal cavity does not work like this, and for obvious reasons, it is a place where bacteria are heavily present.

Thankfully, the risk of bacterial infection can be drastically reduced by doing a few things.

First, there is always the option of cleaning it out with something like an enema (without a laxative, though.) Anal douching is actually the proper thing, and there is a difference between that and a classic enema.

Anal douching reduces contact with fecal matter, and decreases the likelihood of bacterial infection. However, it’s important you are using tools designed for this purpose, as other tools (like small hoses) can tear the lining of the anal cavity and increase risks.

Secondly, peeing after sex – if you have a penis, helps eliminate the likelihood of urinary tract infections. It’s actually quite hard for men to get UTIs, as bacteria would have quite a long way to travel. Peeing after sex can help flush everything out.

Finally, never put an object – be it a penis, a dildo or anything else, inside your anus and then in another cavity, like a vagina or your mouth, without first cleaning or disinfecting it.

2. An Increased Risk Of STDs (Compared To Vaginal Sex)

Unfortunately, anal sex carries an increased risk of STDs compared to vaginal sex.

This is likely because the lining of the anal wall is thinner and more fragile, and is more prone to tearing and bleeding (even if there is no visible blood.)

According to one study published by the International Journal of Epidemiology, the risk of contracting HIV goes up by 18x compared to vaginal sex.

While this study only discussed HIV, it is likely that other STDs also share a similar increased risk, due to the transmission methods being similar.

According to the study, the per-contact risk of contracting HIV is 1.8%. This would make the risk of contracting it through vaginal sex only 0.1%.

There is a myth that having sex even one time with somebody that’s infected will result in you contracting the disease as well. Thankfully, that’s false. Still, you should act as if you are going to be the unlucky one that ends up with the disease after having intercourse just one time – which is why I’m kind of okay with the fact that school sex ed classes hype up STDs as much as they do.

Anyhow, the obvious solution to this is to get tested, don’t sleep with people who aren’t tested, and use a condom to prevent STDs from being spread. Especially during anal sex!

3. Pain (For The Receiver)

This is another one that’s kind of obvious, but anal can be painful for the person who is getting fucked, especially if they are inexperienced, not prepared, or are taking something bigger than usual up the butt.

We kinda all already know this – in fact, ‘painal’, or ‘painful anal’ is a pretty common fetish, so let’s focus on how you can reduce the likelihood of pain.

First, and this one is pretty obvious, but use lots of lube. Lube is often necessary even for vaginal sex, but as they say – out of all of the holes, this one’s the driest.

Actually being aroused before you get a cock shoved up your butt also helps the muscles relax, and makes it easier to accommodate a penis, strap-on, or other object.

Next up, you may consider pre-stretching with a toy, that you can use at your own pace. Butt plugs are one way to do this, and I talk more about the benefits of butt plugs here.

Anal beads and other anal toys can do an excellent job as well!

4. It’s A Butt

Next up, yet another obvious one, but one that we don’t want to talk about.

It’s a butt. It looks pretty, but the evolutionary purpose of a butt is not to stick things up it, it’s to push things out of it.

And even if you’ve recently had a bowel movement or you don’t feel like you need to go, it’s still possible that when you knock on poop’s door, you shouldn’t be surprised if poop answers.

It happens. It’s not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about. And truthfully, this isn’t super common. But it’s always a possibility.

Ever wonder why you don’t see it in porn? Because the girls doing anal scenes starve themselves beforehand, AND clean themselves to an uncomfortable degree. The prep is NOT fun.

Again, anal douching can reduce the likelihood that shit will happen, but you can also put a toy up there beforehand and check privately if it comes out looking clean. An anal douching tool only costs about $10 for a really nice one, so it’s well worth it if you practice anal sex often.

5. The Anus Is Fragile

Finally, it’s worth mentioning again that the anus was not designed to be penetrated. It’s quite fragile as far as your body’s holes go, it’s quite dry, and it’s prone to injury if you don’t take precautions.

Tiny tears or anal fissures can occur if you go in too fast, without enough lubrication. This can cause intense pain as well as bright red bleeding to appear both during sex, and while wiping for some time afterward. Thankfully, most anal fissures heal on their own within a few weeks, but it doesn’t make for a very pleasant experience in the meantime!

If you do end up experiencing an anal fissure, it’s a good idea to abstain from all anal play until it’s fully healed. Using a stool softener like Miralax can help ease pain during bowel movements in the meantime.

In addition to going slow and using lube, you’ve also got to be careful when pulling out as well. Go slow, let the anal muscles work naturally. Please don’t yank anything out of anyone’s anus quickly, it’s really not safe.

Closing Thoughts

Although anal sex is completely safe in most circumstances, you still want to take precautions. After all, sex is meant to be enjoyable, and it’s hard to look back on the experience fondly if you end up with an STD. Or a fissure. Or a sore butt that doesn’t go away.

Take it slow, ensure everyone’s comfortable, and you may find anal is a great way to mix it up and spice up your sex life even further.

Of course, for more tips, be sure to subscribe to my email newsletter!

~ Lexi

Lewd Lexi

Lewd Lexi is a professional adult voice actress, phone sex operator, and sexuality educator. Here on LewdLexi.com, she shares not only her newest releases and projects, but works to provide resources to give everyone a better sex life!

Consider signing up to her email newsletter to stay up-to-date with newest releases, along with a bunch of other goodies you can learn about by clicking here!

lewdlexi.com

And for many men, getting access to it – be it with their cock, their tongue, or even just their fingers, is the grand prize.

But do women actually enjoy having their buttholes touched or played with? Why or why not? Let’s dig a bit deeper into it… no pun intended!

It Depends On The Girl

If you put “do girls like…” in front of just about any question, the answer is always ‘it depends.’

About half the population are girls. We are talking about billions of people. There are always going to be some people that like it, and some that don’t.

Many women have no experience with anal play of any kind – even something as simple as having their buttholes touched by another person.

However, we know that the anus has many nerve endings, and it feels good to have it stimulated (from personal experience, especially by a tongue!) It’s just like touching their clit, or a man touching his penis – it’s going to feel good when it’s stimulated.

Of course, it’s important to know that a lot of sexual pleasure isn’t just physical, but it’s mental as well. And this seems to be especially true for women.

What Factors Influence It?

There may be mental roadblocks holding a woman back from enjoying any anal pleasure at all – to the point where she may not even want you seeing or mentioning her butthole at all.

Some of these may include:

• A fear that she won’t be clean.
• Concerns about the appearance of her anus.
• Previous sexual trauma.
• Fear of judgement.
• An inability to be comfortable with you back there.

Keep in mind that that these do not necessarily have anything to do with you, so you should not take them personally. Chances are, she may not be comfortable with anyone going anywhere near her butthole right now.

This of course, doesn’t mean that she won’t change her mind in the future. I’ve talked with many couples who only started exploring anal play after they’ve gotten married, or were together for years.

Unfortunately, it is common for women to be shy about their butts, so it may take some time for them to open up to you.

How To Get Your Girl More Comfortable With Her Butthole

If you want to add anal play to your sex life but one of you isn’t comfortable with the idea, I strongly encourage one or both of you to call me for personalized advice. Sex is meant to be fun, and anal play can be a big part of it, even if it never evolves all the way to full on anal sex.

However, there are some things the two of you may be able to do right now to help her become more comfortable.

First things first, make sure you openly communicate why she doesn’t like having her butthole touched, looked at, etc. Only when you get to the root of the issue can you really begin to solve it. I’ve had entire coaching sessions that have been solely focused on the why alone. Sometimes she may not know the exact reason, she just knows it makes her uncomfortable.

If it’s due to concerns about cleanliness, let her shower before sex. While running soapy water and scrubbing in between her butt cheeks should be perfectly sufficient, having baby wipes on hand can also help put her mind at ease.

This may seem kind of gross, but allowing her to touch her own butthole (or wiping it with a baby wipe) and sniffing it can prove immediately she’s 100% clean and has nothing to worry about.

Another thing that can really help is getting her used to having her ass touched in other areas. A massage is an effective way to do this, because you can focus on her outer cheeks, before moving your touch closer to her butt crack. Massages can also be quite arousing – particularly when done in an erotic setting, so this can help her feel comfortable. It’s all about taking it slow, and in steps. For example…

1. Massaging her outer ass cheeks.
2. Moving your hands closer in, rubbing against her butt crack.
3. Massaging the inside of her butt cheeks / crack.
4. Opening her butt up, allowing you to see her butthole.
5. Running your fingers over it (but not stopping on it.)
6. Deliberately touching her butthole.

Going from massaging to kissing can eventually turn into ass licking as well, if she’s open to it! Once she knows that it’s okay and you enjoy it, it will be easier to partake in in the future.

Of course, it’s very important that you respect her boundaries, and don’t push things any further if she’s not ready to go there. Remember, this doesn’t mean she won’t be ready in the future!

Closing Thoughts

Most girls enjoy having their buttholes played with, once they try it. However, it can take some time in order to get to that point, as the anus is often considered to be a taboo and intimate area of their bodies.

If you are having issues getting your partner to open up to butt play, I’d love to hear what you’ve tried, and what has or hasn’t worked!

Of course, if you’d like personalized advice, I highly recommend getting on the phone with me – I’d love to work with you to help the two of you out!

~ Lexi

Lewd Lexi

Lewd Lexi is a professional adult voice actress, phone sex operator, and sexuality educator. Here on LewdLexi.com, she shares not only her newest releases and projects, but works to provide resources to give everyone a better sex life!

Consider signing up to her email newsletter to stay up-to-date with newest releases, along with a bunch of other goodies you can learn about by clicking here!

lewdlexi.com